This winter the squirrels and raccoons teamed up with mother nature to drop a hickory tree across my back deck onto the tree that held the bird feeder.
It was a bold move and while they did manage to get at the bird feeder, they also took out the Quince tree from which it hung. And so there was no bird food the rest of the winter.
A few days ago Christine suggested moving one of the trees from the front yard to the back yard to replace the fallen Quince tree.
I am a husband first and a professional product manager second, but in this rare case, my training to respond "Yes Dear" was overridden by my overwhelming desire not to physically relocate a 20+ foot tree. And so I did what every good product manager does when asked for a feature. I asked "Why do you want to replace the Quince tree?"
She explained that amongst the many reasons for having a tree in that spot, the important one was that it would give us a place to hang a bird feeder. She missed seeing the birds. Admittedly, I did too.
So being a pretty good product manager I asked a few more questions, and then went back to my engineer to find a solution that hopefully didn't involve relocating a several thousand pound living organism. Incidentally, in our house I am both product manager and engineer, as we are a small family and haven't yet grown to the point where these roles would traditionally be held by multiple individuals.
Today I am proud to announce our new Bird Feed Deliverer 3000 or BFD for short.
Sure it looks like a flag pole with a bird feeder hanging from the end, but it actually contains some of the most sophisticated counter-varmint technologies since Yosemite Sam. Take for example our completely unpatented squirrel centripetal accelerator. As the squirrel climbs the BFD it charges the accelator.
Once at the apex, the accelerator releases the built up energy and spins the squirrel until you almost start to feel bad for it.
The BFD also comes pre-installed with the Locking Hanging Carabeaner mechanism we shipped in the BFD 2200. While rumored to have the ability to destroy the known universe the LHC is proven to stop raccoons from lifting the feeder off the hook and hurling it down into your backyard. So we feel it's worth the risk.
For more information on the BFD please contact a frustrated squirrel or raccoon near you.